How does a cricket commentator describe a nude girl? (18+)

There is no cover, no extra cover, no slip, but 2 silly points &
2 fine legs, a deep gully... and little grass on the pitch!
Will be bit wet as the match progress.
Anyway it's going to be a fine batting pitch.
Good for googlies and better for finger spin...

Three men

Three men were in heaven discussing how they died.
The first man said, "I died of cancer."
The second man said, "I died of Tuberculosis."
The third man said, "I died of seenus."
The first two men asked, "Do you mean sinus?"
The third man said, "No, I mean SEENUS. I was out with my best friend's wife and he seen us!"

A school teacher

A school teacher asks her class, "What vegetable makes your eyes water?"

Little Johnny replies, "A turnip, miss."

"No Johnny," says the teacher, "I believe you are thinking of an onion, aren't you?"

"No miss," says Little Johnny, "Have you never been hit in the balls with a turnip?"

Johny

Johnny was in the playground with his friend Jimmy when he noticed
the brand new shiny watch Jimmy was wearing.

"Did you get that for your birthday?" he asked.

"Nope," Jimmy replied.

"Well, did you get it for Christmas then?" Johnny asked.

"Nope."

"You didn't steal it did you?"

"No," said Jimmy. "I went into Mom and Dad's bedroom the other
night when they were on the job. Dad gave me his watch to get rid
of me."

Johnny was extremely impressed with this idea, and extremely jealous
of Jimmy's new watch. He vowed to get one for himself.

That night he waited outside his parents' room until he heard the
unmistakable noises of lovemaking.

Johnny swung the door wide open and boldly strode into the bedroom.

His father, caught in mid stroke, turned and asked him angrily,
"What do you want now?"

"I wanna watch," Johnny replied.

"Well, stand in the corner and keep quiet then," said his father

Don't Laugh Too Much

Why are wives more dangerous than the Mafia?
The Mafia wants either your money or life...
The wives want both!


Marriage is like a public toilet Those waiting outside are desperate to get in & Those inside are desperate to come out.

Now That You`re Big

ITs REAL ?

This Artist Are Called Optical Illusionist.An optical illusion (also called a visual illusion) is characterized by visually perceived images that differ from objective reality. The information gathered by the eye is processed and the brain to give a percept that does not tally with a physical measurement of the stimulus source. There are three main types of illusion - literal optical illusions that create images that are different from the objects that make them, physiological illusions that are the effects on the eyes and brain of excessive stimulation of a specific type - brightness, tilt, color, movement, and cognitive illusions where the eye and brain make unconscious inferences.